Sunday, 20 September 2015

On the Bad Days

Hi Sugar,

I hope you're in a happy place, with good people and even better friends. I hope you've got that annoyingly positive vibe about you. Smile stuck on your face, eyes full of dreams.

But there are bad days. There are days you want to stay in bed all day, because the world outside seems so cruel. There are days you feel burning hate coursing through you. Days when your heart aches and your eyes aren't dry. I want to say I hope you never have these days, but I know you will.

You know, there is no formula for recovery. There's all that hogwash about picking yourself up and dusting yourself off and making positive decisions and reclaiming your life and leaving the past behind. That stuff might even be true, yet there's a little part of me that doesn't see the difference.

I've had bad days. I've wanted to stay in bed, cry and eat Nutella (that works by-the-way). And no, I haven't fully recovered. I still want to scream hate at times, point out injustices and maybe detest the world a lot.

Aaaaand I survived. Here's a little secret for you. You will survive too. One day, maybe soon even, this gigantic, mammoth pickle is going to be over. It's going to end. That's all. You'll be fine because nothing in this world is permanent and problems & heartaches are temporary. Finish crying and tell yourself that.

You know what happens after that? You'll be a little wiser, a lot more careful and ready for your next gigantic, mammoth pickle. You will survive any hell that life throws at you, not just because you're one helluva fighter, but because you'll only have to fight a little more.

You're my brave, strong and ferocious girl. Keep fighting.

Till next time,
Mummy

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

I'm Wanderlost.

Hello pet,

Someone once said, "A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it." I often wonder where he went off to; lost his way in the Himalayas? Fell in love in Paris? Ate his heart out in the Americas?

I've lived all my life in Bangalore. The streets are more than familiar now, the faces are unforgettable. The traffic was never always the way it is now, and the air smelled sweeter. I've strolled on Gulmohar carpets, stuck its natural talons on my fingernails. Kaapi is my favourite, its decoction the first scent that greeted me every morning. Home was not just a little building in Hennur, but every street, every friend and all the dosas I ate.

When I left Bangalore, I knew there would be no replacement. I was devastated at the thought of saying goodbye to familiarity. Packed my bags, held in my heavy heart and turned my back to the greatest city in the world.

I've been to several cities since, several beaches and several highways. At every stop, my heavy heart got lighter, till I left a little piece of me where ever I went. I always wanted to go back when I left, and yet always yearned to go somewhere new at the same time. The Bangalore I know is now not a heart-tugging force pulling me back, but a fond memory of a beautiful yesterday.

Is there a name for this feeling? I hear it's called Wanderlust. It's a bittersweet, ambitious, pleasant, dreamy feeling. Your feet are foreign to the ground, and your bags are always ready to go. Your bank doesn't agree much, yet you align your pennies with ticket discounts.

I want you to feel grounded, I want you to know the comfort of Home. I want you to have a place to look back at with happy tears, and I want you to know that there will be a warm meal and a cup of fresh kappi waiting for you when you feel like it.

Yet, I want your geographical loyalties to be free. To not be bound but to be ever-changing. You must go, to the Himalayas and the Andes too. You must learn the value of 'entertaining a thought, without accepting it.' You must understand cultural differences, yet remember that a loving touch and a kind word are universal gifts.

Yes, I want you to be Wanderlost.

Signing off,
Mumsy

Monday, 6 July 2015

The Fat Side

Hello my child,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. Good health. The pink-cheeked, sound mental state, normal blood pressure kind of health.

I live in a Fat world. My cheeks are puffy. Denims don't fit. Every person around me is thin. There are benchmarks in my head, pretty people with pretty clothes and even prettier lives. Even my jokes are about myself. This, my love, is the picture of a single day in the life of a chubby girl.

What you need to know is that this is not normal. It's not okay to hate your body and abuse it with a tirade of expletives while you're combing your hair in the mirror. It's not okay to feel inadequate, to live a life of comparison.

Fashion glorifies the slim. Mannequins parade clothes I can never wear. Relatives and friends are very concerned, constantly offering you the benefits of green tea and oats. Free advice really should not be a thing. Social media is not fat-friendly. Look at all the fat jokes people share. The movies have skinny heroines, who find love at the drop of a hat, directly associating the human figure and the prospect of a happy life. The weight of a warm, human soul is lost.

Why is the world this way? Why have greetings evolved into "You've put on so much weight!"? Will this change? Ironically, the word 'fat' is thrown around lightly.

I want you to know that I love you, and all of you. Not just the thin parts, not just the collarbone that shows itself off. I love you, whether you're fat or thin. I love you, and I want you to love yourself. Eat well, eat healthy. Yet, don't hate yourself for a few pounds. They can go away, should you choose to let them.

You're a beautiful, loving girl. You're kind, you're ambitious and you're exceptional. Your figure didn't get you there, you found your way there yourself.  I hope you know this, and if you ever doubt that, read my letter. I love that girl in the mirror.

I need to sign off now, but not before I leave you with a nice, sloppy, fat-free kiss. Stay beautiful.

Love,
Mom

Monday, 8 July 2013

THE DO’S AND DONT’S OF LIVING

Dear Daughter,
I don’t claim to know everything, yet I feel it would be a crime on my part to leave you with no advice whatsoever.

This thing they call life, it’s a wonderful thing. Not a bouquet of rainbows, but something like sour candy. Its tangy,sweet, full of sudden pops of flavour and sometimes way more than your taste buds can handle.

See, but the thing is, I’ve seen folks give up hope way too early in their journey and that disheartens me. I want you to choose a life of optimism, believe that miracles happen and dream of better days to come.

DO’s
1. Shine like the Sun: I want you to literally GLOW. Be that person who enters a room and sets it on fire. Be a showstopper. Don’t be an underling, allowing opportunity to pass you by while you sigh in silent regret. Speak, scream if you have to, but don’t let your opinions go unheard. All the greatest souls that ever lived fought for what they believed in. Except Hitler. That guy was just plain mean.
2. Never stop learning: The man who believes he knows everything, is a fool. You can never know enough, because as long as you’re alive, you are still life’s student. Every second is 60 bytes of brand new information you will never receive anywhere else. Have a curious mind and an insatiable appetite for knowledge. Let experience teach you what burns your fingers and what doesn’t.
3. The Good Samaritan approach: Be that person who heals and expects nothing in return. I don’t expect you to build a career in medicine to do so. Instead, always extend a helping hand and a ready shoulder. Sometimes a gentle hug can heal what pills cannot.
4. Mutual funds are subject to market risks. A solid character isn’t. : Strive to build your character more than anything else. Honesty, Integrity and Humility are essential soul-vitamins. Be the person who leaves behind an example, a testimony of greatness. Others will see and try to become like you then. That, dear child, is how YOU can make the world a better place.
5. Networking: The world is full of interesting people. Funny people, depressed people, wackadoodle people, quiet people, brilliant people, violent people, nice people, and Nicki Minaj. The science of psychology never ceases to fascinate and enthral me. Make loads of friends and talk to everyone you see. Each person has their own story, their very own indigenous novel. To ensure that you fully see and understand this complex being known as HUMAN, push yourself to interact with and study the species.

DONT’S
1. Don’t say NO to change. : Change is good! Change is necessary. You may catch yourself making excuses and running away from an opportunity. I agree that it may seem scary at first, or there may be that huge element of risk. Toss a coin, and take that huge leap of faith.
2. Don’t be a hater : While growing up, I’d watch my people judge and ridicule each other and that made me very sad. When you find yourself growing jealous or coveting another’s good fortune, pinch yourself and choose to be happy for them. Congratulate your neighbour on his new job, or send a thankyou card to your classmate. Spread some luuuurrrvvvee.
3. Don’t never not give up : I must say I owe the idea for this subtitle to some friends of mine. Don’t give up on your studies, your dreams, your future and more importantly, yourself. Hard work is painful, but its results taste way better than the bitter realization that you lost out.
4. Don’t let anyone steal your thunder. : Critics are everywhere. At home, at school, at work. People tend to constantly detect your flaws over all your goodness. While constructive criticism is healthy and of the utmost importance, I trust you to perceive the difference. The minute you recognize a  hater, take two steps back, two steps to your left, three to the right and walk away.
5. Don’t regret, instead fix it. : Life will be full of regrets, and you will constantly wish you could’ve done things differently. I’d rather you let me tell you to stop brooding over your mistakes than learn for yourself that time spent regretting is time wasted. Decide what you learnt from the experience and vow to never make the same mistakes. Then, move on.

 I’m sure there are plenty more life lessons out there, but these are your guidelines in a capsule.  Life is a simple thing, all you gotta do is live it.

Always a big fan of yours,
-Me


Friday, 21 June 2013

What College Is Really About

Hey Daughter!
So I've been thinking. You're probably going to go to college one day. You're going to have these expectations and hopes and what not. I'm going to help you out a bit. I'll tell you what it's really about. Now you, read carefully.
1. Your pockets will feel empty ALL the time. I spent most of college completely broke and surviving on last week's spare change. There really is no solution to it. Figure out the nearest cheap hangouts, make friends with the waiters but remember, dont sponge off your friends. I've taught you better than that.
2. You're wasting your time in class. I must be the worst parent for telling you this, but all the actual knowledge you'll ever gain happens outside that stuffy classroom. Yet, I encourage you to sit down and endure those long, endless lectures because skipping classes makes you look tardy and inefficient. Also, you'll need all the approval you can get from those evil professors. You'll know what I'm talking about later.
3. Having lots of friends is a delusion. You're on your own. Don't waste your time gossiping and participating in mindless chatter, in your quest for peer-group approval. Be polite to everyone, don't indulge in arguments and keep your temper in check. You don't need to hang out with pretentious, back-biting teenagers to feel awesome. You are awesome.
4. Find that soulsister. You'll come across someone as eccentric, passionate and weird as you are. You guys will never run out of things to talk about and the presence of the other will make college bearable. You'll discover the truest form of friendship there is, and loyalty of the fiercest kind. Cherish and nourish this, my munchkin.
5. Read. There really is no fancier way to say this. Read everything and anything you can get your hands on. Fairytales, textbooks on mechanics and quantum physics, vacuum cleaner manuals, books on art and philosophy etc. Always remember, books are your best friend. You'll witness wars, climb mountains, make new friends, travel the universe and learn all about yourself.
6. People will let you down. Get ready to experience a whole lot of heartbreak and pain. Friends, classmates, teachers will try to snuff out all that fire inside you. Don't let them, darling. Cry for 10 minutes, wipe those tears away, get up and face the world. Remember, you're only as amazing as you think you are.
7. Failure is inevitable. There will come a time when you will lose, and your loss will seem irrevocable. You'll be dejected and depressed, and feel all alone. I cannot offer much help through words, but I can tell you one thing for sure; You're going to survive this. You'll discover that you have a million opportunities to win and a billion undiscovered avenues of hope.
8. Get off your lazy-a**. Don't procrastinate. Don't sleep through your free time. If you do, you'll end up watching the rest of the world reach the finish line way ahead of you, while you're still tying your shoelaces. Push yourself harder.
9. Dnt spell lyk dis. Oh,and always be on time. Punctuality is an underrated virtue.
10. Set yourself short-term and long-term goals. Decide what you want to become, social activist, a tennis star, a scientist or a movie extra. Whatever your choice, stick to it! There will be many folks who are going to discourage you. Don't let them. Even if it's your mama.
11. Find time to smile. Enjoy the little things, eat new cuisines, go on roadtrips, go spend time with the underpriviledged. Life is short, and there's so much out there to be seen and felt. Yet, I must advice you. You're a smart girl and good sense should keep you away from any activity that's going to hurt you.
12. Your family is always on your side. We will always back you up, applaud you at your graduations, habitually embarrass you in public and never shy away from boasting about you at family functions. Your family is your foundation. Respect it, hold onto it.
13. Principles. Ah! As you grow up, you will develop fascinating beliefs and understandings. It may not be the coolest doctrine in town, or what everyone else is into believing these days. But look inside your heart, and if you feel so strongly about it, wear it proudly.
14. Stay healthy. Keep your face, legs, feet, hands, lungs and ears clean.
15. Mama raised a winner. You may feel like you haven't dont well enough for yourself, or that you're pretty much groping in the dark. We've all been there, but things have a way of working out. Don't measure your success with parameters like money and branded clothes, but choose a life of happiness and touch a million lives with your pure soul. That's what counts in the end. Also remember, I will always, ALWAYS, be proud of you.
Signing off,
                                                                                                                                                       Me